A New Year

January 1, 2018

  

      A New Year full of new promises, adventures, and joy to be had. For a lot of people the New Year is an exciting end to a busy season and a fun beginning for changes, improvements, and growth. This New Year I was especially excited because I found out I was pregnant and we would be having a baby in September!

New Year, New Baby!

I kept it a secret that morning from Michael. He's not a morning person, and I wanted to do something special to share the news. Denver and I went out that day looking for big brother t-shirts! We found a few options and he was SO EXCITED about being a big brother 😍. He couldn't wait to tell his daddy the big news!

Michael came home and read Denver's shirt. He was definitely surprised and excited asking, "REALLY?!?" It took us a few years to get pregnant with Denver, being blessed with our second baby in just a few months of trying was God showing His faithfulness to us. I never want to forget God's faithfulness to us. I know that He is always faithful and my situation or circumstances will never change who He is. 

Fast forward just a few short weeks later, and my heart was broken. I had started bleeding and immediately felt panicked. I had bled a little with Denver, and was hoping it was just a hemorrhage or pocket of old blood like before so I went to my OB. They did an ultrasound and warned me that if we didn't see a heartbeat, that it could still be ok because I was only 6 weeks. I'll never forget the weight in the air as I held my breath as she searched for our baby's heartbeat. I saw a blip on the big screen tv, and then saw a sweet tiny baby moving around. Our baby did have a heartbeat, and I was so encouraged! I met with the OB after the ultrasound, and he recommended I start on Progesterone to keep my levels up and start a prescription pre-natal vitamin to give my body the extra folic acid. I started on those that day and was sent home being told, "Everything is fine right now, and sometimes it just stops for no reason and there's no need for concern, but if it gets worse to come back in." 

Two.Days.Later. Two days past that appointment where I got to see our sweet baby and their heartbeat on the screen, and the bleeding became much worse. It snowed that day, so everything in our city was delayed including my work. I left a voicemail for the nurse to call me back that morning, and when she called back I was overwhelmed with fear and sadness. I could barely speak to her over the phone because the emotions came so quickly. She was so kind and said I could be worked in the schedule that day. I went to the OB by myself (a decision I now regret as having Michael with me would have been best). The same room where I had seen our baby's heartbeat, I sat on the same table and heard and saw with my own eyes that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I was crushed and even months later as I type this, I'm still overwhelmed with sadness and grief. The nurse and Dr. were kind as they talked me through options, but I chose to let everything happen naturally. Michael left work early and came home so we could be together. I cried the rest of that night and the next 2 days following. 

Something I wasn't expecting to be as difficult as it actually turned out to be was letting those people around us know that I miscarried. Telling the co-workers that we had shared the news with, friends, our small-group, and some family. Each text, e-mail, or encounter in person was painful to communicate. Miscarriage is still something people can never know exactly how they should respond. Some women struggle with feeling like it was their fault or thinking that there was something they could have done to prevent the miscarriage. This wasn't my struggle. Recently, our church has been going through Romans, and I've thought a lot about misconceptions we have about God. One of those is called the Prosperity Gospel=You get good when you are good. So the opposite of this is that when terrible things happen, we must have done something for God not to bless us. The truth is that bad things happen to all people. We live in a broken world, a world that only Jesus can make new again. No matter what life situation I am in or what my circumstances happen to be, God is still who He says He is. 

God is: Faithful. Good. In Control. My Hope. My Joy. Personal. Always Present.

He calls me: Chosen. Not Forsaken. His Child. Redeemed. Free. Sanctified. Justified. Forgiven. Sealed. 

I have to constantly remind myself of His truth. Our second baby was loved and because of the Hope I have in Christ, one day I know He will make everything new again. He will right all wrongs, and wipe away all tears, sadness, and grief. I can sing praises to Him because of who He is. I never want to forget that our second baby was God's faithfulness to us. He is kind and generous, and I'm grateful to have had a part in their life. 

15 Weeks

How far along? 15 Weeks

Baby is the size of a Navel Orange

Total weight gain: None yet, but I know it's coming soon...
Started to show yet?  Yes! Especially in maternity clothes that my friends are letting me borrow :) 
Belly button in or out? In

Maternity clothes? I have the best friends who let me borrow their clothes :) Maternity is Expensive!

Stretch marks? My friend Courtney told me their hereditary and my mom has a lot, so the answer is a sad yes. 

Sleep: Has gotten better this week! I think I'm started to find my groove and when not to push it anymore. 

Best moment this week: Feeling good in a workout outfit I've had for a long time. I'm definitely showing but my legs and arms are smaller :) 

Miss Anything: Right now, alcohol-just something bubbly and super sweet; still missing meat, but not ready to see if I can handle it yet.

Food cravings: With fall being here, I want anything pumpkin but don't really like the taste! 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Really strong smelling foods with garlic, anything greasy, or meat.
Movement? I doubt it...but maybe :) 
Gender: I'm still thinking girl, and Michael still thinks boy. We'll find out soon though!

Labor Signs: None

Symptoms: None

Wedding rings on or off? On 

Happy or Moody most of the time: I feel a little more balance in my life, but still moody unfortunately. 

Looking forward to: almost being half way there! Only a few more weeks!

14 Weeks

How far along? 14 Weeks

Baby is the size of a: Lemon

Total weight gain: None yet, but not surprising since I can't keep my food down. 
Started to show yet? Yes, there's definitely a baby bump :) 
Belly button in or out? In. I hope it stays that way...I've never had an outtie 

Maternity clothes? Just bought some yesterday for the first time at Target with my friend Karla! I found 2 maternity dresses on clearance and couldn't pass them up! 

Stretch marks? I'm using baby belly butter right now to prevent them

Sleep: Wish I could get more of this even though I feel like I'm pretty much doing it all the time!

Best moment this week: Getting dressed up and going out with Michael's company in a Limo to meet a client in Georgia for dinner. I finally ate a steak:)

Miss Anything: Eating meat and being able to cook whatever I want to eat. 

Food cravings: Anything really cold, ice chips, lemonade, pickles, and frozen grapes. CRAB LEGS!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Mostly meat or anything that has a strong garlic smell to it. Chinese is a no-no right now. 
Movement? Possibly....I thought maybe I did a few times, but still think that maybe that's too early. 
Gender: I'm still thinking girl, but Michael wants this baby to be a boy

Labor Signs: I better not have any of these for a LONG time

Symptoms: None

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I'm a little ashamed to say that I've been moody....just ask the guy who keeps parking in front of my house and then actually parked in my grass! 

Looking forward to: Not feeling nauseous and throwing up every day. I'm totally ready for that to be over with!

Throw Back Thursday

This throw back Thursday is in honor our recent beach trip. This picture is actually from our Honeymoon in Jamaica! We had a great time at the RIU resort in Montego Bay. Great food, great weather, and best of all-Great company! I would LOVE to go back someday...(hint hint)

Marriage Monday: Comparison

Have you ever played the comparison game with your spouse? If not, it goes a little like this.

       I wish my wife were more like Jessica. She cooks delicious meals every night and her house is spotless all the time! OR I wish my husband were more like Jason. He's always buying his wife sweet gifts and loves taking care of the kids. 

This kind of thinking is detrimental to our marriages. It's not fair to you or your spouse. You are comparing the public view of someone you don't know intimately to the one that ONLY you know intimately. The other person will always win out and this will only breed discontent in our lives.

On this Marriage Monday, be intentional and stop comparing your spouse to someone else, and thank God for the gift He has given you! Our marriages are precious and we must protect this gift! 

The Lot

We got the lot! 

It took a little while to get to this point, but we're excited! Michael and I went to look at the original lot we put an offer in on last month. Our offer was contingent on the grade of the land, because they told us there would be a hill in the back yard. We weren't sure how high the hill was going to be, so we waited until they were done with that. We went to the lot on Friday and told them that it wasn't going to work out (the hill was huge and took up a lot of our backyard). Our Realtor, Justin, has been awesome, and he suggested that we look at other lots that hadn't opened up yet. We found one that was even better! Flatter & larger :) He asked if we could just extend our closing date and wait until we could build on our new lot! They had to check with the VP to see if they could make it work for us and we got the call yesterday saying that IT'S A DEAL!

I'll go ahead and confess that I will be constantly taking pictures of the progress. I just can't help myself. 

We are so blessed

We are so thankful

Apple Butter

Whenever Michael and I go apple picking, I know fall is here! Fall is probably my favorite season of the year. I enjoy the changing weather, and the change in pace of life too!

Michael told me that he LOVES to eat Apple Butter with Cottage Cheese. Well for starters, I've never had apple butter and I also don't like cottage cheese, but don't think I won't at least try it before I knock it :)

I got my recipe from a website after looking through different options, I went with this one because 1) it seemed pretty easy 2) it had a canning option and 3) it doesn't have a ton of extra sugar in it compared to others I found. I like that it's basically just apples and spices cooked down for hours.

I started with 14 apples from Sky Top Orchard. I washed them all and then cored and quartered them leaving the skins on . I put them in my biggest pot I could find with 4 cups of apple cider.

I let that cook down for about 35 minutes until the apples were really easy to mush.
It was recommended to use a food mill, but I don't have one of those so I used my handy dandy food processor.
I processed it until it was almost like apple juice and then put that juice through a sieve just to make sure I caught any thick skins that didn't break down.
I measured 9 1/2 cups of the processed mixture and put that back in the pot.
2 cups of sugar, 1 1/2 teaspoons of cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon of allspice and 1/4 teaspoon of clove later..

Mixed it all up and let it simmer uncovered for about an hour and a half until it was a think applesauce consistency.
What did I do with the remainder mixture and leftover thick skins? I'm glad you asked! I put it in a large bowl and put in the fridge to enjoy homemade applesauce later on this week!
Last but not least, I canned the mixture. All in all, it took a few hours, but the work was worth it! I now have enough apple butter to last me until next Fall :) 8 half pint jars. Now that's a good day.